Lessons from the Land: Building a Safe Home, Layer by Layer

By Leila Briggs

Our homes are more than walls, roofs, and floors. They are the places we retreat to when the world feels overwhelming. They contain the spaces that hold our laughter, our tears, and our dreams. But in today’s world, many of us forget to tend to our homes as refuges, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and energetically.

This is where our PEMSe scale (Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, and Energetic safety) comes in. When we view our home through all five layers, we begin to see where safety and refuge are thriving… and where they may need a little love.

Step One: Identify the Weak Point

Pause for a moment and reflect on your home. Which layer feels the least safe right now?

• Physical: Is there clutter that makes you trip, a lock that doesn’t close properly, or a space that simply doesn’t feel comfortable to be in?

• Emotional: Do arguments, grief, or unspoken tension linger in certain corners?

• Mental: Does your home feel chaotic, noisy, or overstimulating - making it hard to think or focus?

• Spiritual: Is your sacred space neglected, or do you feel disconnected from the sense of peace you want to invite in?

• Energetic: Do you notice heavy, stagnant, or “off” energy that doesn’t match your vision of a safe haven?

  
  

As always, naming the weakest point is not about judgment - it’s about shining a light where healing and change are ready to flow. At the same time, take a moment to honor the areas where you and your family are already thriving in safety and spiritual connection.

Step Two: Small Changes Build Strong Refuge

Once you’ve identified where safety feels weakest, begin with small, intentional shifts. Refuge is built one step at a time.

• Physical: Clear one shelf, fix a loose handle, or add a soft blanket to a corner where you rest.

• Emotional: Open your space to understanding and conversation. If you’re working with children and feel blunt truth may not be the best approach, give them room to express their truths in their own way. You might also open a window with the intention of releasing emotional steam, speak words of love or forgiveness into the room, or hang a photo that reminds you of joy.

• Mental: Create a “quiet corner” - a chair, a candle, a book - where you or other family members can reset the mind.

• Spiritual: Light incense, place a crystal, or offer prayers and intentions together. You might also create a small space dedicated to spiritual practice, which could easily be combined with your quiet corner. A place to reset and realign.

• Energetic: Clap your hands in each corner, ring a bell, or visualize light sweeping through the rooms.

  
  

Even if you don’t resonate with the “woo woo,” proactivity changes how the brain perceives and experiences a space. When you intentionally interact with your home - even in small ways like moving a chair, lighting a candle, or tidying a shelf - your nervous system recognizes the action as something it can control. This simple shift creates feelings of safety, inspiration, and support. Over time, these little acts build a stronger connection between you, your environment, and the people you share it with.

These tiny acts ripple outward. One drawer cleared, one candle lit, one deep breath of forgiveness - they all begin to restore safety at every layer.

The Home as Sanctuary

When we tend to our homes in this way, they begin to respond. The air feels lighter, the walls seem to embrace us, and even visitors notice the shift.

The truth is: safety is not only a physical lock on the door. It is the felt sense of being held and supported on every layer of our being.

As you explore your own PEMSe layers at home, remember: your refuge doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful. It simply needs to reflect your commitment to creating safety - for your body, your heart, your mind, your spirit, and your energy.

Your home can hold you. One layer at a time.