By Trish Briggs
For several years, I have taken issue with the word ‘entitled’ (Maybe it has to do with being part of the older generation). When I looked it up in the dictionary it means “give someone legal right or claim to receive or do something.” I have no argument with this definition. I realize it is the attached attitude of “I want it, so I should have it, regardless how it affects others.” I get a very uncomfortable energetic hit that just doesn’t feel right or acceptable with the word, 'entitled.'
More recently I started feeling the same uncomfortable energetic hit with the word ‘deserves.’ Again, I looked up the definition of the word (I’m not crazy to go back to the definition because I have noticed as time progresses, different word meanings and grammar rules are a changing.) Deserve is defined as “do something or have or show qualities worthy of reward or punishment.” I again realized that I was okay with the definition and what was hitting me again was the attached attitude of “it’s mine --- I deserve it.”
It surprised me that the word ‘worthy’ was in the definition because this was the word that I felt should be used instead of the word ‘deserve’. And of course, I looked up the definition of the word ‘worthy.’ It was “having and/or showing the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way.” It was at this point I realized the issue I was having clearly was an internal one. There was nothing wrong with the definitions, but I was feeling an uncomfortable energetic hit, so I had to explore this further. (Welcome, to one of my internal rabbit holes as I track my energy!)
A while back, someone pointed out to me that I held a belief that I could not accept any rewards, kudos, benefits, etc. until after all the hard work was completed. Much like you don’t eat dessert until your meal is finished (Another one of those childhood beliefs rearing its head). Wrapped within this belief was one that I had to put all my energy into the project and do it to the best of my ability to earn the reward. Hence in creating my reality, I never received many rewards because either there was still more work to do, or I was not working at it hard enough. Through reflection, I came to realize “One has to be willing to accept what is given in order to receive.”
This internal reflection occurred towards the tail end of my identity crisis (when I had to give up bedside nursing). While working through my identity crisis I came to fully appreciate and feel my worthiness in the core of my being.
My worthiness was not measured in my accomplishments, my hard work, or actions. My worthiness sat right in my soul and had been there all along.
In accepting and honoring my worthiness, I choose to be the best person that I can be for myself and others. This is demonstrated through my choices, actions, hard work, and accomplishments. I managed to switch my perspective and get the emphasis in the right place --- my worthiness, not my accomplishments.
Was I entitled to the cake? --- not necessarily. Did I deserve the cake? – not necessarily. Was I worthy of the cake? – absolutely. We all are! So, when the cake presents itself, accept it with gratitude. Rewards are a gift from heaven.
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