The Presence of God

By Leila Briggs

I can recall God. I can remember being in the presence of God, vividly. I can remember my descension.

As a child my memory of God was in my conscious memory, as was my sense of purpose. I spoke of God often to my mother and neighbor. The memories of my descension flecked my childhood as I grew, played, and dreamed. Each recall of memory solidifying my knowing and sense of God and purpose.

I recall being nothing and yet something. It was a comforting "nothing yet something." There was no need to strive, no need to push, no need to know. Just be.

Over time, perhaps eons, I became aware I was separate from something much larger. I became aware I was in the presence of something so grand and so vast, it's hard for my physical brain to fathom. And yet, in the grandness, there was a sense of nothingness as well. True energy meeting true energy.

At first there was warmth and softness to this vast energy. It felt as if I was forever falling into the softest pillows or clouds. I think in hindsight, I was forever falling into the vast energy or presence of God. And this vastness was forever catching me, supporting me, and comforting me.

I remember ultimate and radical acceptance of my entire existence. The energy of love was there too. Acceptance though, is what I remember more. No matter which way I moved, which way I shifted, which way I grew, or transitioned - I was accepted. Perhaps, this radical acceptance, is the ultimate form of love? True unconditional love?

In that acceptance, there was plethora of choice. It didn't matter what I did, I would be accepted and loved. I knew this and yet in this space, why would I make any other choice but to be in the presence of this vastness? The momentum for change didn't exist.

It didn't exist, until it did.

There was a moment. I felt an electrical and foreign pulse of energy run through MY energy. Just for a moment. I still had no form. I was energy. I didn't know how to define this electrical pulse in the moment. Despite not understanding what I was feeling; I did know this pulse separated me more. It made an apparent gap between the vastness and myself.

Within another few moments, I also understood I would be descending from the vastness to "feel, know, and understand" this electrical pulse of energy. This happened quick.

I didn't go against my will. I was ready. I knew this needed to happen. I knew I would make my way back to this vastness at some point. I knew that in order to be one again with this vastness, I needed to make the journey the electrical pulse brought with it.

And thus began my true descension. Layer after layer I moved further from the vastness. Memory after memory of worlds, dimensions, various formed images of God and Spirit fill my recollection. Memories of defining my purpose and space. And memories of the mountain fill my awareness. Slowly transitioning from vast energy myself into a formed body.

The sense of God and the memories I had through my decsension have been the foundation of the person I am and choose to be. Just like with myself - I am acutely aware of when someone moves closer or further from this vastness through their choices. As I get older, I have more of an understanding as to why individuals choose to move further away. For a long time I did not though. And thus I am able to apply that patience and understanding to myself.