By Trish Briggs
I started doing energetic self-healing work seriously in my late forties, after becoming a Certified Healing Practitioner in Healing Touch. This was after years of working on developing my self-awareness. I knew early on that my throat chakra was compromised, but like the onion, I would always uncover another layer of healing with everything that I tried. It was not until I was in my late sixties (20 years of working with my throat), that I finally got to the ‘truth’ of my throat compromise.
I had the vivid recall of a throat trauma that one of my aspects experienced. The experience was so traumatic that it carried over into my cell memory of this lifetime. (Similar to how ancestral trauma carries over through our DNA)
I feel like I am in my early teens. I am standing in front of a man dressed in a Nazi uniform. He is slowly tossing an orange from hand to hand as he watches me and my responses to what he says. I know oranges are scarce and a delicacy because of the war effort. I am unlikely to have the pleasure of tasting one anytime soon.
I am mesmerized by the moving orange. Back and forth it goes from one hand to the other, like a swinging pendulum or pocket watch. Without thinking, I give him a smart-ass answer to one of his questions. I immediately realize that I probably should have avoided the temptation and held my tongue, but I got distracted by the moving orange.
He does not respond immediately as he continues to toss the orange slowly. Instead, he stares into my eyes, and I can see the liquid venom residing in his soul. The silence is deafening. Suddenly, he grabs me by my neck, tilts my head back, shoves the orange down my throat as far as he can and holds it there. I die. I am not sure if I suffocated, or my neck was broken because he shoved it so hard. My last thought was, “I shouldn’t have said that!”
My journey (everything I tried previously) is what allowed me to get to my destination- the underlying truth of my throat chakra compromise. My journey took twenty some years. This vivid recall of the orange allowed my brain to come online. I mentally could correlate how this residual silent trauma had carried through and affected me throughout my entire life. I could see how it had rippled energetically. I finally could get a hold of the trauma and its ripples, which meant I could heal it.
When I was younger, I decided not to talk and see if I could still communicate my needs. At the time, I had no idea why I felt the need to do this. I did this for almost a week, no one noticed. Then I received an angelic message that either I started talking again or I would lose the ability to talk for the rest of this lifetime.
This didn’t make sense to me, but I heeded it anyways and started talking again. My aspect was about the same age I was (when I stopped talking) when the orange assault happened. In hindsight, I believe this cellular memory was triggered unconsciously when I reached the same age as the aspect and the orange incident.
From that time on, even though I talked, I began to minimize myself without realizing that I was doing so. I worked hard not to be noticed or stand out in a crowd. I interpreted the different events around me as confirmation that I needed to minimize. I created my reality. There was also an underlying fear associated with being seen or heard that didn’t make logical sense until I knew about the orange. I worked hard at avoiding confrontations because the orange instilled in me that they could destroy and/or lead to death.
These became my unhealthy coping mechanisms that I thought I needed to survive; they continued into adulthood.
Speed-roll forward in time, my children are grown, and my husband has died. I decide to focus on me, my healing, and my career. I have discovered the ability to heal and direct the healing towards the inner-me. For the first time in my life, I am noticed. I am no longer in the background working silently. People recognize me and what I am accomplishing. The self-healing work that I am doing with my throat clearly is making a difference. I felt like I was beginning to have a voice.
I suspect that some part of me knew that this success and this time in this partial spotlight was not going to last. There was some unconscious risk associated with being fully in the spotlight. I recall telling a friend that I would be the one laying the foundation, but someone else would be the one to finish what I started. I didn’t know why I said this; I just knew. (That is what did occur.)
I also was feeling a profound need to leave my job for physical reasons (my body was tired) but I had not acted on it. Was I trying to run from the full spotlight? I don’t know.
At my peak, just prior to speaking at a national convention and two other minor conferences, I fell and broke my neck. I needed surgery. During the surgery one of my vocal cords became paralyzed. I had to relearn how to speak and swallow. This accident ended my nursing career abruptly.
In hindsight, it doesn’t surprise me now that the injury was focused on my neck, my throat chakra.
I hit rock bottom with the sudden loss of my career and had to start rebuilding myself from the bottom up. In the process, I gradually realized that I had minimized myself throughout my life, except for my one moment in the partial spotlight. This needed to change if I wanted to live on. Otherwise, I felt like I was close to just disappearing and no one would notice (like when I didn’t talk for a week).
It was this realization (minimization) and subsequent healing work that led to the recall of the orange trauma, and the understanding of how it undermined my entire life experienceup to this point.
I can’t go back to maximize what was minimized; but I can heal the underlying trauma and its ripples, so that I can move forward and leave it behind.
PS: Not surprisingly, I am not particularly fond of oranges - They always look better then they taste, for me!
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