Why No is Sacred: An Energetic Perspective

By Leila Briggs

No is not the opposite of love. It’s a container that allows love to thrive.

These last few weeks I’ve been reflecting on the word no - and the energetic ripple that moves through us when an authentic no is spoken.

Most of us are taught from an early age that “no” is a word to avoid. It feels harsh, selfish, or even unkind… basically the mean-girl of the vocabulary list. (Cue the dramatic gasp.) So we swallow it down, sometimes we even say “yes” when we don’t mean it, and stretch ourselves thin trying to meet expectations. But underneath those small moments of people-pleasing, something else happens: our energy weakens and leaks.

From an energetic perspective, every “yes” you give without true alignment chips away at your energetic boundaries. Physically, it can create resentment, fatigue, and a sense that you’re living life on someone else’s terms. On the other hand, every clear, aligned “no” maintains power. It strengthens your energy field, aligns your choices with your truth, and opens space for a deeper, more authentic yes. (It can also open the door to a more authentic life!)

The Frequency of No

Think of “no” not as a rejection but as a frequency. When spoken with clarity - especially when it is spoken from truth and not in reaction - it carries the energy of protection and preservation. It preserves and protects love. Not just for yourself, but for others too. (Because let’s be honest, when your heart isn’t in it, it can be just as painful to others as it is to yourself.)

Think of the energy of no carrying the words: “I care enough to maintain, enough to stay true, enough to allow love to continue its journey forward by removing myself from something that is not in alignment with me.”

And if you need a mental picture: no is basically the energetic bouncer at the club of your energy field - firm, polite, and definitely not letting in bad vibes without the right wristband.

A true no allows your system to ground and settle into the now. Instead of scattering your energy outward as an untrue yes can do; a true “no” has the power to pull you inward, back to your center.

Why We Fear No

The hesitation around “no” is deeply conditioned.

• We’re taught to equate no with selfishness and anger.

• We fear rejection, abandonment, or conflict when it is said to us—or even when we say it to others.

• As empaths and healers, many of us carry the impulse to soften others’ discomfort, even at the expense of our own.

• Spiritually, “love and light” is often misinterpreted as perpetual yes or even passivity—when in truth, real love honors honesty and boundaries.

  
  

Practicing Sacred No

Like any muscle, saying no gets stronger with practice. Try one of these exercises—or all of them:

• Pause and Breathe – Before responding, take a breath. Does your body lean toward yes, or does it tense with no? (And please, for the love of your nervous system, don’t hit reply-all before you do this.)

• Visualize Protection – Surround your no with a soft glow of light—firm, but kind.

• Reframe the Meaning – Every no to what drains me is a yes to what nourishes me and my loved ones.

  
  

The Gift of No

Remember no is sacred. It protects and preserves love.

This week, I invite you to practice one intentional “no.” Notice how your body feels, how your energy shifts, and how much freer your “yes” becomes afterward.

When you honor your energy, you show up more authentically, more joyfully, and more powerfully in the moments that truly matter. And honestly, isn’t that what we all want - to actually have energy left for the good snacks, the good people, and the good stuff life is offering?